Well, I have started a journey that I didn't think I would be taking...at least not on my own. But the Lord often has other plans for our lives than we would have planned :) As a single woman, I had thought of adoption before but because I have always thought it would be better for a child to have a mother and a father and for a mom to stay home with her little one, I would always push the thought away. However in October I decided to stop ignoring what I thought might be God nudging me to look into adoption. I didn't want to ignore it if it was Him prompting it and I wanted to settle it if it was just me. So I prayed about it and talked with some people to get some advice. Everyone I talked to couldn't see a biblical reason not to adopt so I started investigating to see it if it was the wise thing to do. There were many things I looked into and I won't share them in this post - maybe I will share them with you as I go along this journey :). I started taking the steps to adopt, trusting the Lord would stop me if He had other plans.
I originally thought I would do international adoption - especially after our family was blessed with my beautiful niece, Miriam, who was adopted from Ethiopia. But for a variety of reasons, I decided to go with a domestic infant adoption. Wow - even as I type this I can't believe it is actually happening! :) In January I attended my first meeting at the agency I chose and signed on with them that day. Since then it has been a bit of a whirlwind. In February I went to an office interview, a home study class, filled out all the paper work and had my home study done. Less than three weeks later I am now officially activated! That means a birthmom could pick me at any time...Crazy, I know. With the program I am with they average 0-6 months wait time. (A friend of mine recently adopted from the same agency and they waited about 8 months.) I tend to think it will be a longer rather than shorter wait - that helps keep my emotions in check :)
I have run the full range of emotions already - from being excited to wondering what I am getting myself into! I have also been afraid that I will never be picked by a birth mom - thinking who would choose a single woman over a couple? Then I remember that I believe the Lord is leading me in this direction and I believe that He is able to direct anyone's heart - Proverbs 21:1 says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases." So if he can direct a world leader's heart, surely he can direct the heart of a courageous young birthmom. I have to trust that He is in control and no matter how long I wait - if this is His will - He will bless me with the child I was meant to raise.
I know some of you may be skeptical about me taking this journey alone - believe me, I was too! However, I have a relationship with a VERY AWESOME God who has given me a great family, great friends, a great church and great co-workers who He can use to help me along the way. HE is able, I am not - so I will trust Him!
I would LOVE for you to pray for me as I begin the process of waiting. He is good :)
